Communication is key...

So today, I woke up at 5... pm. Yeah, not happy with myself. First of all, I was so pumped to go to church today! But instead, I slept for 16 hours straight! Second, my roommate taught relief society today, of which I am of the second counselor. Yeah, not feeling to great about myself. And then, my roommates get back and we have a "meeting" to talk about everything thats been going on. Which brought me to having my third mental breakdown of the week. Yeah, such a wonderful day, right? It gets better. So we all talk everything out, we close with a prayer, then my roomie brings her boy toy in. Everything is going great till I bring my computer out to share a funny song with everyone. Turns out, nobody wanted to hear it. After I had specifically told them I never get to share anything with them. So I end up back in my room, because somebody doesn't have anywhere but the living room to do her homework.

Okay, I need to hush up before I say anything I regret. That's all just me not on my meds talking. Gosh I hate it when I wake up late and can't take my meds! GAH!!! Anyhoo, so the reason I entitled this entry communication is key is because of that whole "meeting" and then me ending up back in my bedroom, not feeling any better after opening up and crying my heart out. But, at least they all know how I feel now. Hopefully SOMETHING will change. We'll see I guess.

So about today being my third mental breakdown this week. The first shouldn't really be classified as mental breakdown, so I just won't talk about that one. The second was on friday in my group vocal lessons lab. So first, in our lab, 4 of us are with our teacher to have lessons. We each take our time to work on anything we need to and we're done! Well I was taking my turn singing and my teacher keeps trying to fix my posture, which I've never had any trouble with before by the way, and it keeps feeling like she wants me to lean forward, which I know is wrong, so I keep saying that feels wrong. But she keeps insisting that No, this is right! Well I wasn't on my meds that day either because I had been in a hurry that morning, so I started crying. Reason I was crying is because I was in pain every time she tried to fix my posture. My neck and upper back have been getting really tense the last few days and what she was having me do was making it hurt. So I tell her that and she asks me to lay on the floor. Then she asks if I have been in a car accident recently. I say yeah, in august. She says I need to see a chiropractor. Okay then! So now I need to see a chiropractor on top of everything else I already have going on. Goodness, what a wonderful day. So that was my second breakdown. And you already know about the third one.

By the way, I got some heating pads to help with my neck and back and they really helped. But sadly, I have no more and it's starting to hurt again. So a trip to Walgreens is in order for tomorrow! Hopefully walking won't aggravate my back and neck. Maybe it will help, since so far, they only thing that's hurt it is singing and sitting at my desk all day, like I'm doing right now. Man! I need to get a life!

So that's all I had to say. Hopefully the road will get a little brighter from here on out. Adios!

Day IDK: JAZZ!!!!!!!!!

Oh. My. Goodness. I am on such a high right now after listening to mind blowing live Jazz for almost 2 hours. There are no words for how amazing that feels. I just love Jazz so much.

First, I love the soft ballads that just make you want to close your eyes and fly off into the sky. The way the drums make that shuffle noise just gets me every time. I love how the performers can manipulate their loud and sometimes obnoxious instruments to sound like a deserted green mountain in Ireland. The tone so soft, like the smoothest baby blanket running across your cheeks. The normally harsh Saxophones so open and round with their notes. Their phrases just dabbling along like a little stream running down a tree covered slope. So peaceful.

Second, I love the loud and hard sounds that Saxophones and Trumpets can make. The way the instrumentalist can blast so much breath through a piece of metal and such an amazing and pure sound is produced. Then when you put many instruments together, and let the masters have some fun, the greatest songs are created and never heard again the same exact way because half of the product was improv. I love that a simple instrument can be picked up by a musician with years of experience and together, they create the most beautiful thing. Music.

Third, I love improv! It always blows me away when a musician like Eric Marienthal can pick up an old, dull, beat up looking little Alto Saxophone and play any note he feels like. Infinite possibilities when simply given a key to work with. And somehow, the greatest can find their way through the maze and do it without a single thought to whether it will work. WOO!!! It just amazes me!!!

Fourth, I love the way musicians can gather together, and without any knowledge beforehand of what they are going to play, can hear what is coming and simply know what will and won't sound good. The way two people can just play back and forth and never stop. That happened in the concert I went to tonight. Twice, actually! Between the same two people! The guest Eric Marienthal and the drummer from our very own BYUI Sound Alliance. Twice they had a mind blowing battle between them that sounded as if the greatest saxophone and the greatest drums of all time came together and just played. So, so, so phenomenal. There are hardly words. And that happened twice!!! TWICE!!! Once in a lifetime opportunity right there.

Last thing I wanna say is that I miss having someone to share my love of Jazz with. My brother, who is currently on a mission, plays the Tenor Saxophone and is amazing at it. He loves jazz and when he plays, you can tell that he enjoys it. Unlike the lead Tenor in the band tonight that was so focused on his music that he looked bored and like he wasn't even playing. Which was super obvious, especially when the lead Alto right next to him is jamming out and half dancing in his chair, having the time of his life! And Jerry, oh Jerry, he was the one that you would think would fall off of his chair because of how much he enjoyed playing. What sucks the most is that I really wanted to call someone right after the concert was over and tell them how amazing it was! And the first person I thought of, I can't call! And I can't think of anyone else that would be as enthusiastic about jazz as I am! I love it so much, I can't even say how much! I hope to someday marry a Jazz Saxophonist so he can serenade me and I can go to concerts for free :D